I figure I’ll go ahead and say it here, since the internet gets the word out best.
I was robbed at gunpoint last night, while walking to my apartment from a bar only a couple blocks away. The dude asked me for a cigarette, and when I said I don’t smoke he kept walking beside me for a while, then held a gun a foot from my head and made me empty my pockets on the street. It was all dimly lit and no one was around.
I actually tried to put up an argument with him, which seems incredibly stupid in retrospect. But, with several drinks in me, I asked him pretty please not to take all my keys and credit cards, and to wait just a sec while I removed the SIM card from my worthless red Nokia, as to not lose all my precious contacts (that last part’s a joke). But then I was like, holy crap, this guy could really shoot me, which occurred to me when the guy kept saying “I’m gon’ shoot you, man.. drop it all.. I’m gon’ shoot you.”
I’m still alive and fine, which is the important thing. Just a little pissed off and shaken up. My faith in the Birmingham PD has gone up a tad, as for once they actually ended up being super helpful with everything from filing the report to sending a few cars out in the direction of where this guy took off running. And even more than that, my buddy Carlos (of Kids Got The Disco fame) ran into me, then waited, and eventually drove me home and then waited some more while I dialed and canceled all my cards from his phone. What a guy.
So here are a couple things I need from you:
1) Your telephone numbers. I no longer have anybody’s. If you don’t want to post them on the internet for all to see, just text them to (205) 427-2581. But wait a little while, as I have to go to T-Mobile today and pick up a new phone. Hopefully when I say I’m Kevin Wilder they’ll take my word for it, since I no longer have an ID that says so. Except for my passport, but Lord knows where that is.
2) If you live in Highland Park, or anywhere for that matter, be careful. Please take this motherly advice. I never consider the possibilities of stuff like this happening, but it happens to someone all the time. Shit’s crazy, man.
3) And finally, if you read this in the next few hours and feel like it, call this guy on my phone. If he picks up, tell him he’s a lousy worthless douchebag or something even more morally debasing (I’ll let you decide what to say, as you’re all creative people).